Self Discipline

Self-discipline is the ability to do what you think you should be doing rather than doing something based on how you feel.

For example, you may have an exam taking place tomorrow morning and your mind is telling you that you need to be studying and revising, however you feel exhausted, tired and you want to crash in front of the television.

Self-discipline is closely related to the concept of delayed gratification.

By delaying the ‘feel good’ factor now, you can experience an even bigger ‘feel great’ factor at a later point in time.

For example, if you did decide to study the night before your exam instead of crashing in front of the television, you may have been more confident in your exam, less anxious and feeling more relaxed and calm.

As a result, you may have also experienced a better outcome or better grades. This ultimately leads to more satisfaction.

What are the other benefits of building self-discipline?

• Remain focused on your goals
• Be more productive, more effective and more efficient
• Perform at a higher level
• Develop a stronger mindset
• Get more done!
• So, how can you build your self-discipline?

1. Understand Yourself

First, to build self-discipline you need to understand in what areas of your life are you not being disciplined? Where would you like to be more disciplined? What are the areas that you are struggling with most?

What are the 3 areas in your life that you keep putting off, but you know if you were to do them they would make a huge impact?

Write them down and also write down why you are currently not doing them. Next to each, write down why you want to do each.

Re-frame your situation into a positive and look at the benefits of doing something. This leads into my next point.

2. Focus on the Longer Term

What are your longer-term goals?

What are you trying to achieve in your life? Focusing on your longer-term goals helps you to understand the important of why you need to do something now. If you were to take action now, what is the longer-term benefit that you will get later?

For example, you may find it hard to get off to the gym or go for a run. If you were to go and do this now, what is the longer-term benefit that you will get? Your health, your fitness, your overall well-being is all dependent upon the action that you take in this moment.

Another thing is to ensure you do not procrastinate and say that ‘I’ll start tomorrow’. There is no better day than today to kick start a new habit and change your life.

By putting things off, this simply weakens your self-discipline and reinforces negative habits.

3. Schedule Your Time

A fantastic tool for building self-discipline is to schedule your time. If you are finding it hard to get started on writing your novel, schedule 30 minutes every day for the next 7 days and stick to the time you dedicated to it.

Before you know it, at the end of the week you would have spent 3 and a half hours writing your novel.

The key is to stick to the time you have scheduled. Obviously allow for some flexibility as a life that is totally scheduled is just simply no fun.

However, if you can’t work for 30 minutes at the scheduled point in time, ensure you do it at an earlier or a later time. If it can’t be done that day, ensure you add an extra 30 minutes to the following day.

4. Get Started

One of the best methods for building self-discipline is to simply get started. Often, the hardest part about doing something that you do not want to do is the fact that you have no momentum. It may seem like a daunting task.

Run with the motto of ‘just do it’. Take the first step, simply ‘force’ yourself to take action.

It will feel uneasy at first, but once you get the momentum going you will most likely start to feel the flow and build your self-discipline.

5. Reward Yourself

I mentioned above that self-discipline is closely related to delayed gratification. If you do something now, you will get a benefit at a future point in time, particularly if it is helping you reach your longer-term goals.

However, you can take this to another level. You don’t have to wait until the very end to be reward and start to feel good.

Reward yourself at milestones throughout your project or your take. Perhaps it is that you have not started a project yet.

Tell yourself that if you work for one hour on your project you will be rewarded with whatever it is that you want to be rewarded with. Set yourself little rewards throughout your project to help you build your self-discipline.

Before you know it, you will no longer need to reward yourself at such small intervals.

6. Get Support from Others

Support from others can be a great thing. I recently read that you are the sum of the 5 closest people to you. 

That means, if you are surrounding yourself with disciplined people that can encourage you and are supportive of your goals, then you are more likely to succeed in what it is that you are trying to do.

Who else is doing what you want to do? Another thing is to take action with someone else. Hold each other accountable for reaching your goals. 

Perhaps it’s finding a gym partner or maybe it’s letting your team member know that you will have a certain part of the project done by a certain date.

By holding each other accountable you will help build your self-discipline.

This IS Management

This IS Management

Take A Leap Of Faith

Take A Leap Of Faith

 Remember BELL has No SOUND Till Someone RINGS it. SONG has No TUNE Till Someone SINGS it. So never Hide your FEELINGS,Unexpressed & unspoken words  have no effect at all .Be not Shy in expressing your Feelings to Loved ones if U want Relationships to be practically stable, no body has the time to read your mind "whether you love or hate him"?
Never take any thing for granted ,every relationship once made has to be nurtured with regular connect and appreciations ,howsoever deep or close that may be !

   Communication can be the key to all relationships, we all know how to talk but to do so in an assertive way can be difficult for us all, depending on our background, we may end up as aggressive or passive or passive agressive some times we can switch between all three.

When we are passive we are saying my rights do not matter and yours do, we do this for a quiet life, we do it to avoid confrontation, but it is no good for our own well being, as we end up feeling very suppressed and the longer it goes on, the more we are unable to communicate in a constructive manner. You give away all your own personal power to another individual

When we are being aggressive we are say that i am a winner and you are going to lose this , as my needs are more important than yours, this is harmful to both parties as you end up hurting your self and the other person involved at the other end of the aggression also ends up hurting.

Passive aggressive is when we really wish to do some thing but cannot find the strength to tell another of our needs so we may end up using sarcasm, for example we may ask the husband if he would like to come shopping with us, giving him an opt out, then he would say no and we would say ok i will go on my own don't worry about it, I will manage on my own.

In all three examples above no one is getting there needs met, this is when we learn how to be assertive when some one is being aggressive with us, we can say we understand there issue and why they are upset and that we can sort some thing out between us to come to a resolution in this way the person on the other end is being listened too and you are acknowledging that their rights are just as important as theirs.

It is vital that every one in your life has their needs met including you, some times it is hard to make yourself heard when you are not used to and feel difficult with confrontation, i know this is a subject that affects many and that is why i have shared this with you today.


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संगच्छध्वं - Let's move together !!

THIS IS TOO SHALL PASS
- Excellent Message. Understand Deeply.

Once a king called upon all of his wise men and asked them, ” Is there
a mantra or suggestion which works in every situation, in every
circumstances, in every place and in every time. In every joy, every
sorrow, every defeat and every victory? One answer for all questions?
Something which can help me when none of you is available to advise
me? Tell me is there any mantra?”

All the wise men were puzzled by the King’s question. They thought and
thought. After a lengthy discussion, an old man suggested something
which appealed to all of them. They went to the king and gave him
something written on paper, with a condition that the king was not to
see it out of curiosity.

Only in extreme danger, when the King finds himself alone and there
seems to be no way, only then he can see it. The King put the papers
under his Diamond ring.

Some time later, the neighbors attacked the Kingdom. King and his army
fought bravely but lost the battle. The King had to flee on his horse.
The enemies were following him. getting closer and closer. Suddenly
the King found himself standing at the end of the road - that road was
not going anywhere. Underneath there was a rocky valley thousand feet
deep. If he jumped into it, he would be finished…and he could not
return because it was a small road…the sound of enemy’s horses was
approaching fast. The King became restless. There seemed to be no way.

Then suddenly he saw the Diamond in his ring shining in the sun, and
he remembered the message hidden in the ring. He opened the diamond
and read the message. The message was - ” THIS TOO SHALL PASS”

The King read it . Again read it. Suddenly something struck him- Yes !
This too will pass. Only a few days ago, I was enjoying my kingdom. I
was the mightiest of all the Kings. Yet today, the Kingdom and all his
pleasure have gone. I am here trying to escape from enemies. Like
those days of luxuries have gone, this day of danger too will pass. A
calm came on his face. He kept standing there. The place where he was
standing was full of natural beauty. He had never known that such a
beautiful place was also a part of his Kingdom.

The revelation of the message had a great effect on him. He relaxed
and forgot about those following him. After a few minutes he realized
that the noise of the horses and the enemy coming was receding. They
moved into some other part of the mountains and were nowhere near him.

The King was very brave. He reorganized his army and fought again. He
defeated the enemy and regained his empire. When he returned to his
empire after victory, he was received with much fanfare. The whole
capital was rejoicing in the victory.

Everyone was in a festive mood. Flowers were being showered on King
from every house, from every corner. People were dancing and singing.
For a moment King said to himself,” I am one of the bravest and
greatest King. It is not easy to defeat me. With all the reception and
celebration he saw an ego emerging in him.

Suddenly the Diamond of his ring flashed in the sunlight and reminded
him of the message. He open it and read it again: “THIS TOO SHALL
PASS”.

He became silent. His face went through a total change - from the
egoist he moved to a state of utter humbleness. If this too is going
to pass, it is not yours. The defeat was not yours, the victory is not
yours. You are just a watcher. Everything passes by. We are witnesses
of all this. We are the perceivers. Life comes and goes. Happiness
comes and goes. Sorrow comes and goes.

Now as you have read this story, just sit silently and evaluate your
own life. This too will pass. Think of the moments of joy and victory
in your life. Think of the moment of Sorrow and defeat. Are they
permanent ? They all come and pass away.

Life just passes away. There is nothing permanent in this world. Every
thing changes except the law of change. Think over it from your own
perspective. You have seen all the changes. You have survived all
setbacks, all defeats and all sorrows. All have passed away. The
problems in the present, they too will pass away. Because nothing
remains forever. Joy and sorrow are the two faces of the same coin.
They both will pass away.

You are just a witness of change. Experience it, understand it, and
enjoy the present moment - this too shall pass.



--
संगच्छध्वं - Let's move together !!

A young couple move into a new neighborhood. The next morning, while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hang the wash outside.
"That laundry is not very clean", she said, "she doesn't know how to wash properly. Per...haps she needs better laundry soap".

Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make... the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look! She has learned how to wash properly. I wonder who taught her this."

The husband said: "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows!"
And so it is with life: "What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look.

Before we give any criticism, it might be a good idea to check our state of mind and ask ourselves if we are ready to see the good rather than to be looking for something in the person we are about to judge.

A young man applied for a job as a farmhand. When the farmer asked for his qualifications, he said, “I can sleep when the wind blows.” This puzzled the farmer. But he liked the young man, and hired him.

A few days later, the farmer and his wife were awakened in the night by a violent storm. They quickly began to check things out to see if all was secure. They found that the shutters of the farmho...use had been securely fastened. A good supply of logs had been set next to the fireplace.

The young man slept soundly.

The farmer and his wife then inspected their property. They found that the farm tools had been placed in the storage shed, safe from the elements.

The tractor had been moved into the garage. The barn was properly locked. Even the animals were calm. All was well.
The farmer then understood the meaning of the young man’s words, “I can sleep when the wind blows.”

Because the farmhand did his work loyally and faithfully when the skies were clear, he was prepared for the storm when it broke. So when the wind blew, he was not afraid. He could sleep in peace.

Karma is a Sanskrit word that means action. Karma Yoga is a practical method to ensure that our actions cause good effects. Most of our actions are preceded by a thought or intention. The intention behind any action is always more important than the action itself, as the intention contains the seed of the action's results. We can undertake an action with a selfish or selfless intention, and each will produce different results, even if it is the same action. As we learn to pay attention to our thoughts and actions, we can begin to shift them from being about ourself to being about others. In this way, we not only end our own suffering, but we profoundly reduce the suffering of the world as we turn naturally toward selfless service.

When an action, and the thought behind it, is selfless, the action leads to the type of future karma that can eventually result in liberation. As yogis seeking liberation, we strive to perfect our actions by first perfecting our thoughts, freeing them from selfishness, anger, greed, hate, and jealousy. This is the practice of Karma Yoga.

When our thoughts move from being selfish to being selfless, we reap far greater benefits. For example, if you are alone at dinner time, you might reach into the refrigerator, pull out a container, and eat while standing in the kitchen. But if you invite a good friend for dinner, you go out of your way to serve the best food. You acquire the best ingredients. You clean the house. You spend hours preparing and cooking the meal. Finally, you serve your guest on your special china, making sure that he or she savors each bite. You might even find that you are no longer hungry. You have been satiated at the fountain of love and service.

The practice of Karma Yoga also allows us to rejoice in the happiness of others for the sheer sake of happiness. This is easy when you approve of the reasons for someone's happiness, but what if you don't?

For example, your daughter brings her new boyfriend home to meet you, but you don't think this boy deserves your daughter. You have made a list of his unsuitable qualities and you don't share your daughter's happiness. You may even express your negative opinion with anger and frustration because you want her to know how unhappy you are. But your angry action will not contribute to a better relationship between you and your daughter.

Consider, instead, setting aside your opinion about the cause of your daughter's happiness. Can you detach from the reason she is happy and simply rejoice in her happiness? Whenever you do a selfless action like this, good karma is not far behind.

This doesn't mean you don't have opinions about your daughter's boyfriend. Your opinions may be valid and could, if requested, help your daughter make decisions concerning her future karma with him. If you come into a state of happiness first, and then act, your daughter will be more likely to hear your opinions if they are presented without anger and insult, and you will be less likely to cause her suffering.

Taking this approach to life—harnessing our thoughts and then our actions—helps us develop equanimity of mind in all situations, which leads, in turn, to the understanding that fighting against or running away from unpleasant situations will not lead to lasting happiness. Perhaps you are unhappy with your job and wish to quit. Each day you go to work grudgingly, and throughout the day you tally up the reasons for your dissatisfaction. One day your frustration and anger reaches a breaking point and you hand in your resignation. What are the possible karmic repercussions?

When you find a new job, you may initially be elated, but it is probably only a matter of time before frustration and anger take over again. You will eventually find yourself upset and on the brink of quitting. The way of karma is such that you will continue to find yourself in "bad" situations until you discover how to transcend them.

If you wish to be permanently free of an unpleasant situation like this so you don't have to repeat it, you must find a way to change your thoughts about it. Find a way to leave the job while in a state of happiness or gratitude. Don't wait to be happy until after you quit your job. Your job is not what is standing in the way of your happiness; your state of mind is—and the practice of Karma Yoga can help you change your mind.

When you start paying attention to your own thoughts and their resulting actions, you begin to realize that you are the agent of your fate. What you did before matters, what you thought before matters, and what you are thinking and doing now matters—not just for you, but for everyone around you, now and in the future. So choose your thoughts wisely and plant the kind of seeds you want to reap—and create the kind of world you want to live in.

Adapted from Jivamukti Yoga: Practices for Liberating Body and Soul by Sharon Gannon and David Life.

 

 

Musings....

Sometimes we spend time asking who is responsible or who to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. We miss out some warmth in human relationship in giving each other support. After all, shouldn't forgiving someone we love be the easiest thing in the world to do? Treasure what you have. Don't multiply pain, anguish and suffering by holding on to forgiveness. much fewer problems in the world. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unwillingness to forgive, selfishness, and fears and you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.

         Musings....

• My mother used to ask me what the most important part of the body is.
  
  Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct Answer.
  
  When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, "My ears, Mommy."
  
  She said, "No. Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon."
  
  Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer.
  
  So this time I told her, "Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes."
  
  She looked at me and told me, "You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind."
  
  Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge and over the years, Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, "No. But you are getting smarter every year, my child."
  
  Then one year, my grandfather died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was crying. Even my father cried. I remember that especially because it was only the second time I saw him cry.
  
  My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final good-bye to my Grandfather. She asked me, "Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear?" I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game between her and me.
  
  She saw the confusion on my face and told me, "This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived in your life. For every body part you gave me in the past, I have told you were wrong and I have given you an example why. But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson."
  
  She looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. She said, "My dear, the most important body part is your shoulder."
  
  I asked, "Is it because it holds up my head?"
  
  She replied, "No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only hope that you have enough love and friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it."
  
  
  Then and there I knew the most important body part is not a selfish one. It is made for others and not for yourself. It is sympathetic to the pain of others.
  
  People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will NEVER forget how you made them feel.
  
  ♥♥ Sometimes we are the shoulder,
  other times we are the ones crying.
  In either case we are blessed to have loving and caring friends..

“The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you, but what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says, but rather to what he does not say.” ~ Khalil Gibran

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